The Island Of Bears: A BBW Paranormal Romance Page 9

  Holden sighed, closing his heavy-lidded eyes for a moment. “Because that worked out so wonderfully today.”

  “Look. I get it. I spaced out and did a really dumb thing by wandering away from the village. I know something very bad could have happened to me. But despite that—despite this one instance of carelessness—I’m not some china doll who can’t be left unattended or unguarded for longer than a second. I’m not someone who needs to be sent back through the portal to be wrapped in the metaphorical bubble wrap of a building with celebrity-level security. Not that I’ve lived a very brave or heroic life at all or anything, but I’ve always been in charge of my own self, and my own decisions, and my own safety. Not to get terribly philosophical about it, but I’ve always felt like for the most part, I’ve been in charge of my own destiny. And you wanting to send me away—you wanting me to just completely hand you the reigns when it comes to my safety—well, there’s just something that smacks of me not being in charge of my own destiny anymore. There’s just something about that that makes me feel...just, strangely small somehow. Not strong, which is how I always like to feel, and how I manage to feel a good deal of the time.” Hoping I was getting through to him, I paused to take a deep breath. “Does any of this make sense to you?”

  Now it was Holden’s turn to hesitate in responding, and he did for so long that I wondered if he was going to respond at all.

  But, after several long seconds of looking out at the ocean, he finally turned his gaze back to me. “Yes. I understand what you’re saying. And please believe me, I never meant to make you feel how you do. But, Haley, it’s....” He paused, removing his arm from around my shoulder and taking both my hands in his. “It’s almost a matter of necessity in this situation that you put your complete trust in me, and that you allow me to be responsible for your safety. And that’s not because you’re not strong and capable; it’s simply because we’re dealing with supernatural elements here, and creatures who are probably hundreds of times stronger than a human being, specifically you. See, I can understand why all this might make you feel as if I’m taking control of your autonomy and your destiny, and if the Forms weren’t an issue, I would never have asked you to let me take on responsibility for your safety. But the Forms are an issue. And until they’ve all been killed, I just can’t risk you getting hurt, or worse. I just can’t. You mean too much to me, even at this early stage of our relationship. And what happened today just made me that much more confident in my decision to take you back to the city and have you remain there, for however long it takes.”

  “But... I just feel sick when I think about leaving you. Doesn’t that count for something? That I feel that me going back to the city would only make me miserable?”

  “Of course that counts. All your feelings count in regards to this situation. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to change my mind.”

  “Well...so you mentioned possibly hiring a bodyguard or two for me back in the city. Why can’t we just do that here? I’m not saying I’d like it, because I definitely don’t think I would, but I’d be willing to deal with it if that meant I could stay here with you.”

  Holden heaved a sigh, giving his head a slow shake. “Stretched thin as we already are, I can’t spare even one man at this point. Not to mention, Forms can attack bodyguards, and then what would happen? I just can’t risk it. I want you completely safe. So, going back to what I asked you earlier...can you please just try to trust me? Can you please just allow me to take complete responsibility for your safety, just until this situation with the Forms is resolved? Remember, I’ll still visit you whenever I can.”

  “‘Every so often.’”

  “Whenever I can. And then, once Sun Cove is safe... I want you to come back. There’s nothing I want more. Just please agree to trust me about all this, and try not to dread what’s going to have to happen in about a week. Just please agree to at least try to trust me...that this will all work out in the end, and then we can be happy. Together.”

  Looking deeply into my eyes, Holden caressed the backs of my hands, slowly rubbing his thumbs in slow circles against my skin. His expression was so earnest and sincere and pleading that I developed a literal ache in my chest. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to believe that our very new relationship could survive a separation, and maybe one of a great length. But something was still making me feel reluctant about things. Something was still making me feel like I wanted to dig in my heels.

  However, at that moment, I just couldn’t respond to Holden in the negative. A small part of me seemed to be whispering that if I truly cared about him, which I did, I should at least try to trust him. I should at least give it a chance. Maybe the quiet little whisper I was hearing was because I felt in my gut that Holden truly wasn’t trying to wrest control of my own safety and my life away from me, and he didn’t think I was some pathetic, helpless china doll. I knew he just wanted to keep me safe because he cared about me, and I also knew that the Forms were quite serious business. I had to admit that what he’d said made sense. Maybe when an average human was at risk of attack from supernatural creatures, it was best to let a shifter experienced with supernatural creatures take complete control of the reigns. Even if that didn’t feel great for some reason.

  Suddenly, making two decisions at once, I nodded. “All right. I’ll agree to at least try to trust you about all this. I’ll trust you that we can be happy in the end. And I promise that you won’t have to drag me back through the portal kicking and screaming in a week.”

  The first decision I’d made had, of course, been to trust Holden, and the second decision I’d made had been to abandon all plans to try to deal with the Forms myself. Not that I’d really had any specific plans anyway. But I’d resolved to not try to think of any. I was now determined to just do as Holden had asked and simply allow myself to let go and let him do what he thought was best to keep me safe. I knew I might have to grit my teeth a bit to do it, but I’d do it.

  In response to my agreement, Holden kissed each of my hands in turn, and then my mouth, before pulling back wearing a devastatingly sexy half-grin. “Thank you. Thank you for at least agreeing to try to trust me about all this. Everything will work out, and I won’t let you down. I promise.”

  He kissed me again, then promptly scooped me up and began carrying me down the beach in the dim light of early evening, saying that it was well past time to see the doctor about my ankle. I glanced down, seeing that it really was. My ankle was so big around I probably wouldn’t have been able to fit my hands around it.

  A few hours later, after the doctor, a kindly older man, had done x-rays on my ankle and iced it and wrapped it, Holden carried me back to my cabin, even though I protested that I was more than capable of using a pair of crutches the doctor had given me. But Holden wouldn’t hear of it.

  “I know you’re more than capable of using crutches. But I’m more than capable of carrying you, and since I love doing so, and since you’ve said a time or two that you love resting your face against my chest, why would we want to miss out on this opportunity?”

  I did love resting my face against his chest. If “love” was even a strong enough word. I adored it. Sometimes when in his arms, I felt like I could relax and breathe in his woodsy, masculine scent for hours and not get tired of it.

  Once he’d made the two of us some dinner, then tucked me into bed with my ankle propped up on pillows, he left to go join his men in doing surveillance of Black Lake. I knew he probably wouldn’t be back that evening, and he wasn’t. When I woke up early the next morning and saw his side of the bed empty, I sighed, missing him desperately. I figured I had better get used to the feeling, now that I’d abandoned my plans to try to take out the Forms myself and remain on the island.

  However, just a couple of hours later, my plans changed again when Cora told me something that turned my blood to ice.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  When our respective men still weren’t back by mid-morning, Cora, Amy, and I had brunch toge
ther at my place, then Cora took a stroll down the boardwalk to the outbuilding where the village’s artisan chocolate was handcrafted in small batches. Or, at least, she strolled. I hobbled along on my crutches, still kind of trying to get the hang of them. It turned out that while I was capable of using crutches, I wasn’t exceptionally coordinated or smooth with them.

  We’d decided on a trip to the chocolate shop because for one thing, the day was overcast and a bit cool, which was unusual for the island and made the day not ideal for beach activities, and for another thing, Cora had said that I looked like I could use a piece or two of chocolate. Or three. I’d already told her about Holden’s plan to take me back to New York in about a week, and over brunch, I’d told her that I’d finally agreed to it. I’d finally agreed to trust him. Even just saying the words out loud, that I’d be leaving him, and the island, soon, put me in such a glum state that I hadn’t even been able to take more than two bites of a ham-and-veggie frittata Amy had made, despite the fact that it was delicious, and despite the fact that I was hungry. A little lump in my throat that kept wanting to rise up prevented me from choking any more down.

  Inside the outbuilding was a large, open room filled with vats and various workstations where the chocolate was made. All the adults in the village pitched in with production, even the men, and even Holden. He’d told me that he found the process of making chocolate relaxing. Which was great, because I found the process of eating chocolate relaxing. Several days earlier, he’d presented me with a blue velvet box filled with chocolates that he’d crafted himself, despite the fact that he’d obviously been incredibly busy dealing with the Forms. The ten or so small, rich chocolates inside the box had been shaped like shells, starfish, and various other things from the ocean, which was the signature of all chocolate made in the village. Though in my velvet box, one of the chocolates had been different from the rest. It had been shaped like a heart, with delicate filigree etched into the front of it using some special tool. I’d been embarrassed about how quickly I’d polished off the shell-shaped chocolates, but the heart-shaped one I’d kept to save forever.

  Filled with the sweet scent of chocolate of all kinds, the workshop smelled heavenly, even though no production was taking place that day. Cora and I had simply stopped by to sample some “rejects,” which was to say, chocolates that weren’t really “rejects” at all, but ones that merely had some very minor flaw, such as filigree design that hadn’t turned out perfectly, or marks from where a mold hadn’t closed completely over a particular piece and had left marks. All these “rejects” were kept in boxes on a table in one corner of the air-conditioned shop, and anyone was free to take a box or two whenever they felt like it.

  However, Cora said that people didn’t often do that. “After a few decades making chocolate here on the island now, honestly, we’re all a little sick of it. I myself can only stomach the white chocolates anymore.”

  I didn’t think I could ever get sick of chocolate. Ever. No matter how long I stayed on the island. Which, as I unfortunately now knew, wouldn’t be much longer.

  After we’d selected a box of assorted “rejects,” Cora brewed some coffee in a little kitchenette area of the shop, and we took cups of coffee and our chocolates outside to enjoy on a picnic table out front, which was flanked by two clusters of tall, vibrant green palms.

  Sitting across from me, Cora handed me a paper napkin to put my chocolates on. “I want to encourage you to have all you want, because considering how down you look today...well, you look like you could use more than one piece. Chocolate makes your brain release feel-good endorphins, you know.”

  Selecting a few pieces from the box, I sighed. “Yeah. I know. Although with the way I feel, it would probably take a literal ton in order for me to start feeling any better.”

  I took a bite of a shell-shaped dark chocolate with an exquisite creamy coconut center very subtly flavored with a hint of lime. This kind was my favorite, though today, the delicious taste hardly even registered.

  Amy selected two starfish-shaped white chocolates from the box and set them on her napkin, glancing up at me. “I know it’s hard, and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now or what you’re going through, but you have to try to think positively. Just focus on the fact that you will be coming back, and hopefully fairly soon. Put all thoughts of Dr. Bradley out of your mind, and just refuse to think them. That is not going to happen to you. I can just tell. Everything for you is going to go smoothly.”

  While a breeze fluttered through her long brown hair, Cora picked up one of her white chocolates and took a bite.

  I set the rest of my coconut-lime chocolate down, thoroughly confused. “Who’s Dr. Bradley? And what does he or she have to do with me?”

  The village doctor’s name was Dr. Anderson.

  The moment I’d asked the first question, Cora had begun choking on her bite of chocolate.

  Coughing, she gave her chest a few thumps with a fist. “Oh, God.”

  Alarmed, I pushed her cup of coffee a little closer to her. “Here, take a drink.”

  She did, then coughed a few more times and took another sip before she was able to speak again. “Sorry. That bite just went down the wrong pipe.”

  “Well, don’t be sorry. You all right now?”

  She took another sip of coffee. “Yeah. Just fine. Thanks. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to tell you about a community clambake Amy and I have been planning for the night before you leave, kind of for a send-off. See, we’re thinking of something like a late-night party, with lots of rum, and dancing, and a huge bonfire on the beach. We didn’t tell you about it over brunch because we were thinking we’d make it a surprise for you, but now I just figured I’d tell you about it, because—”

  “But, wait a second, Cora. I appreciate you wanting to have a send-off for me, and it sounds really fun, but what were you saying about a ‘Dr. Bradley'? Who is Dr. Bradley, and why did you mention—”

  “Oh, that was just nothing. Nothing.” Avoiding my eyes, Cora paused to tuck a strand of flyaway hair behind one ear, then take a sip of coffee. “That was totally nothing.”

  Now I was mystified and more than a little uneasy.

  “Cora. Please look at me and tell me who Dr. Bradley is, and what happened to him or her that is supposedly ‘not’ going to happen to me.”

  Cora shook her head, gaze on her coffee cup. “I’m a... I’m a complete idiot. An utter and total complete idiot.”

  “Cora, look at me. And fill me in. Please.”

  With a deep sigh, she finally returned her gaze to my face. “I’m really sorry, Haley. I guess I just sort of thought you already knew certain things. Like maybe Holden had already told you, or... I don’t even know. Me and my big mouth. I really wasn’t thinking there.”

  “Well, it’s no big deal. I had my own little lapse of not thinking yesterday. But, please...fill me in. Because you’re making me feel kind of anxious, to be honest.”

  Cora winced, seeming to be struggling to maintain eye contact with me. “I’m so sorry. But if you’re feeling anxious now, me explaining about Dr. Bradley really isn’t going to help things.”

  “I don’t care. Please tell me.”

  Cora winced again, clearly beyond uncomfortable. “All right. I guess no putting the genie back in the bottle now, or, putting the doctor back in the bottle, as the case is.” While a little bit of sun peeked through the clouds, making the turquoise waters of the ocean sparkle in the distance behind her, Cora took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Dr. Bradley was a heart specialist who came here to the island years ago... Maybe thirteen or fourteen years ago. Amy’s friend Lisa was having some strange, prolonged chest pains, and being a general practitioner, Dr. Anderson didn’t feel comfortable trying to determine the cause by himself. So, Holden went through the portal to New York, found a doctor who believed in the supernatural and who was also willing to be discreet, which, of course, was Dr. Bradley, and then Holden brought her over here to the island.
Holden had done this with different medical specialists, dentists, various scientists, and so on, dozens of times. Probably hundreds of times, actually. In the past few decades, I’d just guess he’s brought a hundred different people over here on a total of maybe three or four hundred round trips, because some people come over more than once. So, anyway, Dr. Bradley, who was a nice older woman, was one of these round trips. She came over, determined that Lisa’s chest pains weren’t caused by any heart condition, but instead, by a severe case of acid reflux disease, which Dr. Anderson had suspected, but just to be sure, he’d wanted Lisa to have a full cardiac workup. So, once Dr. Bradley declared Lisa’s heart in perfect condition, Lisa began treatment for her reflux disease, and Holden took Dr. Bradley back to New York.”

  “So what was the problem? The thing that will supposedly ‘not’ happen to me?”

  “Well...the problem didn’t happen until about six months later. Dr. Bradley wanted to come back to do a follow-up exam on Lisa, just to make sure that her cardiovascular system was still completely normal. And, though I’m sure that was really her primary intent, she really liked it here on the island, and I think she was kind of looking forward to another couple of days here as well. So, Holden went to New York to take her back through the portal, but it just...well, it just didn’t work this time.”

  With an icy chill suddenly flowing through my veins, I swallowed. “What do you mean?”

  “Well... Holden went back through the portal, but Dr. Bradley just... didn’t. So, Holden tried again, but Dr. Bradley still remained at the fountain on Ellis Island. It just wasn’t working this time. Holden tried again a week later, but it still didn’t work. Lisa insisted that she was really fine and didn’t even need to be seen by Dr. Bradley again, but at this point, Holden was just so perplexed as to why Dr. Bradley wasn’t able to come back over that he felt like he wanted to try again, just to see what would happen. And so he did, maybe a month later, but it still didn’t work. At that point, I guess he just kind of gave up, because there were other medical needs in the community at that time, and different specialists had to be brought over, and he couldn’t waste any more time or trips just trying to solve a mystery. Especially considering that Holden can only make a limited number of trips bringing people to and from the island in a certain time period, and he didn’t want his failed attempts with Dr. Bradley to count when he could have been bringing over other specialists.”